Priorities
by OurKissGoodbye
Summary: Post Dependent. After Elliot almost loses both his job and his family, he realizes what his priorities are.
1. Home

**A/N: **Spoilers for Dependent. This takes place where Dependent left off. Sadly I don't own SVU, but my birthday is coming up! Maybe Dick Wolf is planning on handing them over!

**Summary:** Elliot takes a look at his life and finds out what his priorities really are.

Thinking back, he couldn't even pin point the moment when his life started to unravel around him. For the first time in his life, Elliot Stabler felt completely helpless. He was used to being the strong one. The one to never let his emotions show. After all, emotions were a sign of weakness. But then again, look where that had gotten him. The woman that he loved wanted him out of her life. After twenty years of marriage and four beautiful children, she wanted a divorce. He spent the last two years of his life trying to pretend that it wasn't happening. If he didn't think about the divorce, maybe, just maybe it would go away. Maybe things would go back to the way they were. Back to a time in which he thought everything was alright and they were happy. And although he had finally given in and signed the divorce papers, he wasn't ready to give up on their marriage. What he wanted more than anything was to make things right. Hell, he didn't even know what was so wrong with the way things were. But he knew things had to change in order for them to get better.

After being faced with the murder charges, Elliot was able to put things into perspective. He was already on the verge of losing his family, his one piece of this screwed up world that was perfect. His family meant more to him than anything else in the world. It was obvious to anyone around him. He would do anything and everything for his family. His family is one thing that made getting up and going to work in the Special Victims Unit really mean something. Everything he faced at work, all those horrors, he did in order to keep his family safe. Without that family to come home to, he didn't know what the point was anymore.

But when it came down to possibly losing his job as well, he was scared. If he didn't have his family and he didn't have his job, then what did he have? Nothing. He would have no reason to exist.

And that is why he found himself standing on his front porch. His stomach was in knots, as he worked up the courage to knock on the door. He loved Kathy. What if she wouldn't talk to him? What if she wasn't willing to hear him out? He didn't want to think about that. Before he could give himself the chance to turn and walk back to his car as if nothing happened, he knocked.

He could see her pull the curtain open, checking to see who was at the door. Taking one last deep breath, he braced himself for the conversation that he was about to have with his wife. She opened the door and stepped out onto the porch. She wrapped her arms around herself as if to protect herself, and looked at the man that stood before her.

"Elliot? What is it?" Kathy asked. Concern was prevalent in her voice as well as written across her face.

"We need to talk." was all that he said. He needed to be as straightforward with her as he could. He was sick and tired of the game that was being played over the past two years. He didn't want to wait another minute to tell her exactly why he had shown up tonight.

"I saw the news. I knew you didn't kill that boy."

"It's been a rough couple of days and I've had time to think about what's important to me," he began to say. Kathy looked at him with curiosity as he continued to speak. "I love my job and I love my family." Elliot took another breath, as he tried to collect himself. _Dammit!_ He thought to himself. _Pull yourself together Stabler!_ He could feel the tears welling in his eyes as he struggled to continue.

"..and I nearly lost both of them. I want to come home."

**A/N:** Thanks so much for reading. This is my first SVU fic. Please review and let me know what you think. The more reviews, the faster I update!


	2. Happy Homemaker

**A/N:** I would like to thank everyone that read the first chapter of this story. And an even bigger thanks to those of you who took the time to review. This chapter is dedicated to all of you! Oh and another thing. I still don't own SVU, Dick Wolf does.

It had been a week sine Elliot showed up on the doorstep of Kathy's home, his home. He never thought that she would actually take him back, but she did. The moment that she had agreed to let him come home, was one of the single most happiest moments of Elliot's life. Second only to the birth of his four beautiful children. Part of him didn't believe that he deserved a second chance to make things work with his wife, while the other part was jumping for joy at the fact that he had his family back.

He had taken a week off from work. Mostly because of the stress he experienced during the murder charges that he was faced with. He needed a break from the unit for a while. It gave him the chance that he needed to get back into the swing of things on the home front. It was nice to be the one that was home, rather than the on that was out earning a living. For the first time in his life, Elliot had assumed the role as homemaker. While Kathy was out of the house working all day, Elliot spent his time cleaning the house, doing the laundry, playing taxi cab for his children and tending to all those home improvement projects that had begun to pile up. And although Elliot could never see himself doing this full time, it was nice to see exactly what Kathy had to deal with for most of their marriage.

But even though Elliot finally had everything that he wanted back in his life, there was still something that was missing. Something that he was unable to put his finger on. Trying to come up with a reason that made sense was what he had been doing most of the day. After coming up short, he decided that it was probably because he was on vacation. After all, it was the longest amount of time off that he had taken in a while. He was probably just getting antsy sitting around the house, and was just itching to get back out into the field.

Elliot could now be found in the dining room, where he was setting the table for dinner. He had wanted to surprise Kathy when she came home from work. Dinner was nearly done, and he was just putting the finishing touches on the table, his cell phone rang. It was a sound that he would have normally been used to hearing, but since he had been on vacation, he had barely heard it at all. Grabbing his phone from the pocket of his jeans, he quickly glanced at the number on the caller ID. It simply read Olivia. With a smile on his face, he flipped the phone open.

"Stabler."

"_Hey El."_

"What's up. You know I don't come back to work until Monday, right?"

"_I'm not calling about a case Elliot.."_

"Well in that case, what can I do for you Liv?"

"_I stopped by your apartment the other night to see how you were doing. And I was surprised to find that you weren't there. Is everything alright?" _Olivia asked, her voice filled with concern.

"Yeah, about that. Actually I've been home all week."

"_Home? As in your houses in Queens?"_

"Yeah."

"_How did that happen?"_

"Well I asked Kathy if I could come home, if we could try to make things work. And well, she agreed."

"_Oh." _she said. Disappointment was evident in her voice. _"And how is that um..working out for you?"_

"Things are definitely different. I've been playing the happy homemaker all week. I thought that Kathy deserved a break."

"_You? Homemaker? Ha!" _laughed Olivia.

"Yeah keep laughing. What would be funnier was seeing you be a happy homemaker. I can't see anyone settling down with you. After all, I'm the only man who has been in your life this long."

"_Oh shut up! You're just saying that because you miss me."_

"Oh is that so?" he laughed. "Yeah ok, I'll admit it. I miss you."

"_I knew it! Anyways, my pizza just arrived, so I guess I'll just see you on Monday. Goodnight Elliot."_

"Night Liv. See you soon."

Elliot removed the phone from his ear, and glanced at the call timer before shutting the phone. He then turned to the stove to pull the now finished pot roast from the oven. What he didn't know was that Kathy had already come home from work. And that she had heard everything he said to Olivia on the phone.

**A/N:** Oh man! Cliffhanger! What is going to happen next? Review to find out!


	3. Dinner and a Show

**A/N:** Thanks to everyone who has been reading my story and waiting for an update. I'm sorry it took so long. I don't really have an excuse as to why it did, but needless to say, I'm sorry. Here it is! Enjoy. I don't own SVU or any of the characters. If I did, then you would have already seen this in an episode by now!

When Kathy opened her front door to see her estranged husband standing on the porch, she didn't quite know what to think. She was almost positive that Elliot did not want anything to do with her anymore. After all, she destroyed his trust in her by filing for divorce. She blind sided him when he least expected it.

But in all honesty, she didn't know what else she could do to get him to realize what he was doing to himself, to his family. She loved Elliot more than anything, and just wanted him to open his eyes and see what he had in front of him before it was too late.

Over the years, their marriage slowly began to become a marriage of convenience. Elliot was the breadwinner of the family. He worked long hours in order to provide for his family. He did what he had to do to make sure that none of his children wanted for anything. Kathy took care of the home. She was there whenever any of their four children needed her. She was there to wipe away their tears and to comfort them when they were down. Elliot was almost never around, unless you would count the times when he was there to discipline.

She was surprised to see him there, and to hear that he wanted to come back home. That he wanted to make things work. And as much as she wanted him back home with her, where he belonged, she wasn't sure if they were going to be able to make it work. But if he was willing to try, then she owed it to herself, to her children to give it a shot as well. She didn't know what she could expect from the Elliot that she saw before her. He was obviously broken. Maybe that is what it took to get him to be the man that she married all those years ago. But deep down he was still her husband, and the father of her four children. And with those thoughts in mind, she welcomed him back into their home, willing to do whatever it took to make things right.

--

After hearing Elliot's phone conversation, Kathy wasn't quite ready to announce her presents to her husband. She knew that Olivia was still in Elliot's life. After all, they were partners. But somewhere in the back of her mind she thought that maybe this time would be different. Who was she kidding? She knew that Elliot would never ask for a new partner, and the same went for Olivia. They had been partners for eight years, and she knew that they worked well together. As much as she wanted to ask Elliot to leave the force, he knew that his heart was in his work, and he would never agree.

She also knew that she could spend the rest of her life stressing over Elliot and Olivia, and whether or not their relationship went further than just partners. And God only knew how much time she had already spent thinking, obsessing about it. That was part of her reasoning behind filing for the divorce after all. And while she knew that Elliot was nothing less than faithful to her, in the back of her mind she couldn't help but think differently. After all, Olivia was the woman that he spent most of his nights with. And how was she supposed to know if they were really working a case, or if they were busy working on each other? That was just it. She didn't know anything. Only what Elliot told her. And she knew that he if was truly hiding something, he probably wouldn't just come out and tell her. If there was something going on between Elliot and his partner, she was sure that she would be the last to find out.

Sighing as she hung her coat in the foyer, she made her way toward the kitchen. While Elliot had already ended his conversation with Olivia, she could hear him lightly humming as he finished the last touches on their meal.

"Honey, I'm home." she said quietly, not wanting to startle him. He turned around to face her, the carefree smile on his face that was clearly evident just a moment ago, was now forced.

"Who was that on the phone?" Kathy enquired.

"That was just Olivia."

"Oh. What did she want?" Kathy mentally winced when she said that. She didn't mean for it to sound as bitchy as it did. The last thing she wanted was to start another fight with Elliot.

Elliot stopped pouring the drinks as he focused his sights on Kathy. "She didn't want anything. Just called to say hello, see how my vacation was treating me. That is what friends do you know."

"Elliot." Kathy said in a warning tone. She should have just left matters alone.

"Don't give me that Kathy. Why are you so jealous of Olivia?"

"Because she sees you more than I do!"

"Is this what this is all about? She's my partner Kathy! I don't know what you expect. She has been there to back me up for eight years! How could we not be friends?"

"Well the moment that bitch walked into the precinct, you stopped backing me up! What about our twenty-two-year marriage?"

By now the dinner that Elliot prepared was completely forgotten about. When he planned out this dinner, he pictured him and his wife surrounded by their four children, smiling and filling each other in on their days. He didn't think that the night was going to end in a screaming match. Kathy and he hadn't fought since he had come back home, and to be honest, he didn't want to start. He wanted to make things work. Elliot let out a sigh, when he realized that this fight was not going to end soon. And yet again he was going to have to defend himself again. Defend his partner and defend his job to the wife who was supposed to be understanding. But then again, understanding left the room months ago. Right around the time that Kathy started the divorce proceedings.

"I never gave up on our marriage Kathy! I'll be the first to admit that we were going through some hard times, but you were the one who walked away!"

"What did you expect me to do Elliot? I couldn't stand to keep living this lie."

"What lie. What are you talking about?" he was starting to get confused. He had never once lied to his wife. Yeah, sometimes he didn't always want to talk, but he would never lie to her.

"How could you come home at night, and sleep next to me in our bed when you love another woman?" she said in a barely audible whisper.

**A/N:** Thanks for reading. Review if you want me to write more. I know that just about every author on this site says this, but the reviews really do help give us the inspiration to continue. And if you have any suggestions I am all ears. Thanks!


	4. Honesty

**A/N: **I can't believe how many reviews I got for the last chapter of this story. You guys are AMAZING! Thank you so much. Sorry this update took so long. I'm in the process of packing and getting things ready to go to London, England for three months and things are really hectic right now. The story is almost done, and the rest of it should be up soon! And I still don't own the characters.

"_How could you come home at night, and sleep next to me in our bed when you love another woman?"_

The words echoed through his mind, which was so clouded at this point that he was positive he would never have another coherent thought. Unable to look into the clearly disappointed face of his wife, he opted to turn around, facing the counter, where he placed both of his hands in an attempt to steady himself. He was completely blind sided by her comment, and it hurt him more than he could have ever imagined. But the hurt that he felt, he didn't know whether it was because his actions had caused his wife to doubt his intentions yet again, or because she was able to see something in him, something that he was unable, maybe even unwilling to admit to himself.

Letting out a sigh, he slowly turned around to face Kathy once again. He knew that this was a now or never situation. Either he comes clean, tell her everything that he had been battling with inside for god only know how long, or he pushes it back to the far corners of his mind, his heart, and continues to live the life that he had always known.

The two of them stood there in the kitchen for what seemed like days. Kathy with her arms wrapped tightly around her upper body, trying to give herself any comfort she could find. She was scared of what Elliot's response was going to be. Was he going to deny her accusations, lie to her again, or was he going to finally be truthful with her, with himself?

"I..." Elliot began and ended just as quickly as he heard the sound of his own voice. He couldn't do this. He was treading in uncharted territory here. If he admitted to his wife that there was truth to her statement, where would that leave them. Or more importantly where would it leave him. He would lose his family again. The family that he tried so desperately to hold onto. As much as he wanted to hold on to his family, hold on to what was right here in front of him, he knew that the time had come for him to make a choice. To be a man and step up.

"Elliot. Please" Kathy pleaded. All she wanted was for him to be honest with her. As much as she loved him, she needed him to be honest with her. Seeing him unhappy, even if it was their relationship that was the cause of it, made her hurt in a way she would never be able to understand. They were high school sweethearts, married in a rush because of an unplanned pregnancy. And while she knew Elliot loved their children more than she could put into words, and wouldn't give them up for anything in the world, she wanted him to finally have what he had always wanted.

"I'm sorry Kath. I don't know when, or even why. But I'm sorry" was all that he could manage to get out before he forced himself to stop. He was never one to start crying when things got tough, but here in front of the one woman he basically closed himself off to, he started to break.

Slowly a tear slides down his cheek and for the first time since they had been married, Kathy was able to see the emotion within her husband. And it scared her more than she could ever admit to herself. She needed him to be strong. After all, being strong was his job. She was the emotional one. But standing in front of her now wasn't the man that she fell in love with all those years ago. Hell it wasn't even the man that she married. It was someone completely foreign to her. But in her mind she knew that in front of her was someone that she was proud to know. Someone whom she knew deserved the best in life. After all he had worked so hard to ensure that she had gotten the best out of her own life. And she had four beautiful children to show for it.

Slowly she walked toward him, closing the distance between the two of them. She could feel his body tense as she got closer. But she did was something that he did not expect to happen. She wrapped her arms around his torso and held him in a tight hug.

"It's ok. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't upset. But things are different now. We aren't the same people we were when we first got together, when we got married." she said softly.

He turned to her, and wrapped his arms around her as well and as his head made its way to her shoulder, she could feel him finally break in her arms, as his body started to shake with silence tears.

"I'm so sorry." he whispered as he stood in her arms. And they stayed there, holding each other in their kitchen, both completely aware that their lives were about to change forever.

**A/N: **I need reviews! If I get an amazing amount of reviews by the end of the week, you might get an update before I leave for London!


	5. Making Things Right

**A/N**: Finally another update. I know that you don't want to hear my excuses, but I have some really good ones. First of all I am in London, where I will be studying abroad for the next 3 months. And I didn't have internet access for about a week, because the school was setting it up. And then I had the wrong adapter for my laptop, so I could only use it til my battery died. Anyways, here is the next chapter. I'm aiming for one more after this, and then ending it. Enjoy!

The remainder of the evening was quiet. After the confession in the kitchen, there really were no words that needed to be exchanged between Kathy and Elliot anymore. Elliot excused himself so that he could pull himself together and to gather his thoughts. While Kathy gathered her children in the living room for yet another heartbreaking talk. She didn't know how their children were going to react. And it hurt her that she was going to have to tell then again that their marriage was over. She hated herself for putting them through this again.

Once the Stabler family had their last family meeting, there was a sense of calm that seemed to wash over the house. The children were upset, after all what child would be happy to find that they parents were no longer interested in being together. But at the same time they knew that this would turn out to be something beneficial for both of them.

Gathering the last of his things, Elliot headed towards the door of his home. _No_, he mentally corrected himself. _This is her home now, it's time for me to move on._ After a round of hugs from his children and one last hug from his first love, Elliot Stabler left in search of a new sense of home, of a new beginning.

-

After getting into his car, Elliot had no clear idea of where to go next. There was of course his own apartment, the one that he had been renting since Kathy first left him. But that place held so many memories of nights past, where Elliot would come home from a long day of work and attempt to drown himself in alcohol to forget that he was alone.

He drove in the direction of the only other place in the world that he could see himself. The only place that he knew he could be himself. Where he wouldn't have to put up a front, where he could finally relax.

Before he knew it, he had reached his destination. He slowly stopped the car on the side of the road and placed the car in park. Taking one last deep breath he exited the car, locked the door and started to walk towards the closest building. It was a building that he had been to many times before, but never for this reason.

Noticing that his palms were sweaty, he quickly wiped them on his jeans, and then reached for the buzzer. He waited patiently for a few minutes before the voice on the other end answered.

"_Hello?" _asked the voice on the other side of the speaker. There was a sense of confusion in her voice. She knew that she was not expecting any company tonight.

"Liv. Can I come up?" was all that he said. She had to know it was him. What other man would bother to come to her home this late, and not to mention call her by his nickname for her.

"_Elliot? What are you...is everything ok?" _she questioned.

"Everything is fine. Are you going to let me up or what?"

"_Yeah, sorry." _That was the last thing she said to him before she granted him access to her building.

The trek to Olivia Benson's apartment was almost surreal, even though Elliot had traveled this route many times in the past. He pressed the call button for the elevator and waited impatiently for its arrival with his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his jeans, rocking back and forth on his heels. Stepping aside to allow the occupants of the elevator the room to exit, Elliot found himself becoming increasingly nervous. _Why am I so nervous?_ he thought to himself. He was only going to see his partner, the women who had his back for the past eight years. But in the back of his mind he know that she was so much more to him than just his partner at work. Olivia Benson was more than just his colleague at the Special Victims Unit of the NYPD. The only question in his mind now, was if she felt the same way about him.

When he reached her door, he had only just begun to knock when the door was open, revealing Olivia behind it. _She was waiting for me_ was the only thought that was going through his mind. Without saying a word, she moved from the doorway, and granted Elliot access to her apartment. Giving her a quick lopsided smile, he accepted her invitation and entered.

**A/N**: Ooo!? What's gonna happen? Review to get the last chapter. I really need the encouragement to finish this story!


	6. The Truth Revealed

**A/N:** Finally the last chapter. Thank you to everyone who stuck around to wait for me to update. Things have been crazy and amazing here in London. I finished the story while waiting for my plane to arrive to take me from Venice back to London this weekend. Enjoy! Oh and I still don't own SVU.

Elliot didn't know what to do once he entered Olivia's apartment. He knew that he was treading on uncharted territory with coming here tonight, but at this point in his life he had no other choice but to continue. His feelings for his partner, for Olivia had been kept hidden for far too long. Not it was do or die time. It was finally time for him to be honest with not only himself, but with Olivia as well. Even if his feelings were one sided, even if she didn't feel the same way. And if that was the case, he hoped that his confession would not cost him their partnership. Elliot wasn't sure that he would be able to survive if she left him again.

While his nervousness continued to grow, Olivia busied herself in the kitchen, trying to wrap her head around why Elliot was here tonight. He really had no reason to be there, especially since he was in the process of restoring his twenty-year marriage. After all, that is where he was when she had spoken to him earlier. The last thing Elliot needed was to be spending time at her apartment or time at all with her unless they were working a case. Olivia knew in the back of her mind that she made Kathy jealous from time to time. And for Elliot's sake she hoped that he knew what he was doing showing up at her apartment. She pushed those thoughts aside, grabbed two beers from the fridge, and made her way back into her living room. She could see Elliot sitting on the couch and doing his best to look as if he was interested in what was on television.

"Want one?" asked Olivia, gently shaking the bottles to get his attention.

"Yeah, sure." Elliot replied, letting out the breath that he did not know he was holding.

She walked over to the couch and took a seat besides him, handing him his beer in the process. He wasted no time opening it, and took a long drink before their conversation could continue. They sat there in silence, with the look on Elliot's face making Olivia more and more concerned with each passing minute.

"El. What's up?"

"It's over."

"What's over?" Olivia hated playing this game with him. Then one where she knew he had something to say, something that he wanted to say, but he refused to just come out and say it.

"My marriage." was all that he said.

"What? How can your marriage be over Elliot? I just talked to you a little over two hours ago and you sounded as if things were going great. Hell you were even in the process of making dinner."

Elliot just put his head in his hands as if he was physically unable to finish this discussion with her. But Olivia wasn't going to let him just give up like that. She was going to get him to talk.

"Did you and Kathy have a fight?" she asked, placing a comforting hand on her partner's shoulder.

He didn't even have to answer that question. After she asked, she notices that his shoulders slumped just a little bit more, his muscles tensing up once again. She could read the answer in his body language alone. Keeping her hand on his shoulder, not wanting to break his only sense of comfort, she asked another question.

"What was it about?"

Elliot didn't want to be having this conversation. But he knew that he came to Olivia's apartment for a reason. And all he was doing now was stalling, trying to buy himself some more time. More time for what? He didn't know. He didn't need more time. He needed to tell her what he had been hiding from her for god only knows how long. He let out a long sigh, lifted his head and turned to look at Olivia. When he had successfully located her face, and locked eyes with her for the first time that night, he said, "You."

"Me?" she asked, the confusion was evident in her voice. "You had a fight over me? Why?"

"Kathy came home when we were on the phone with each other. She called me out on it when we hung up."

"I don't understand. Why would Kathy care that we were talking on the phone. She knows that we are best friends. We've been partners for eight years Elliot."

"She's jealous."

"El," she said as she reached over to place a comforting hand on his back. "If you need to talk, you know that I am here to listen."

"How can I talk to you when you're what this is all about?"

"You mean because of your fight with Kathy that was about me?"

"No, not just the fight. Everything is about you."

Olivia did not know how to respond to his last statement. _Everything was about her._ Since when was everything in his life about her? Has he felt this way since they first became partners eight years ago? Did he feel this way every night that he went home to be with his wife and children? A million questions battled for an answer in Olivia's mind. But as much as she wanted those answers, she knew that the man sitting next to her needed her support, and that he had come to her for a reason. Granted that reason was the farthest from clear that she had ever been in her life. Finally her mind slowed down enough to allow herself to speak.

"What are you talking about Elliot? How is everything all about me?"

He turned slightly on the couch so that he was now completely facing her. He had never been more nervous about anything in his entire life. Hell, asking Kathy out for the first time was a quiet walk in the park in the park compared to this.

"I don't know when or even why this all happened Olivia. But I know that it did."

"What happened Elliot? You're not making any sense."

"I fell in love with you Olivia."

**A/N:** That is how "Dependent" should have ended. Hope you all like it. Give me some love/hate to let me know what you think! Thanks again for reading!


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